My Top 5 Songs

Dog days of summer.  Or dog daze...life churns on. People are dying.  Uncles, aunts, a cousin or two, and loved ones of acquaintances.  It's sad.  People move on, things change, but not really.   And slowly, you are displaced.  You become older, the generation of yesterday. Your zeal wears thin. That "energy" is hard to come by at times.  Your passions - weak.  Your lust for life - gone. Or maybe I just feel this way because I am listening to the song from The War on Drugs.  In a way, its a sad song.  I have no idea - when do I ever pay attention to lyrics anymore.  I just like sounds, effects, mood.  What is he even singing about. What am I ranting about???   Almost mid-summer.  Things, going OK.  I am not thrilled to see the sun rise, but I am not dreading the new day, either.   I have accepted what is, is.   Or I am just being way deep tonight for some reason. I am alway...

OK, one week into the month, and I'm posting for my throngs of afficionados.  Not bad - normally I'm 2 weeks late, or longer. Love the autumn. Well, it has its plus and minuses.  Big minus - the university people come back.  I live in a great American city with a huge university presence - and they pretty much dominate the better parts of this city.   And they are usually fucking stupid in public spaces - driving, on the bus, anywhere.  Look, I was dumb too at that age.  I did not think ahead, I felt like it was my right to be afforded an explanation for everything, and to be catered to....I might be hard on myself and maybe I was not THAT bad.  Even at that age, I had an excellent work ethic learned from my parents.  But, yea, I was at times a dick.   But an independent thinker, at least.  I was never a herd follower, and usually was alone most of the time.  Fine by me! I am not an angry old man.  It's just that when ...

Am I eligible for sainthoood?  There must have been at least three times a miracle prevented me from ripping their head off with all the noise they make.  Apartment living at some point becomes not a bohemian joy but a drudgery. But yes, it has its advantages. Busy with school - one more fucking month left of grad school.  I am eager....so eager.... That is all.   Little interest in music as my chart shows - not a lot of movement for this month. APRIL 2016 1.  "Vanishing Man", by The Church 1, 1, 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul13hip5LOM 2.  "Tread Lightly", by Mastodon 4, 2, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ja8cXdo5fA 3. "Come a Little Closer", by Cage the Elephant 2, 2, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYup3Qwh8Q 4. "Sick Like Me", by In This Moment, 4, 4, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03X0B6u-AxM&list=RD03X0B6u-AxM 5.  "Wildfire", by Borgeous 5, 1, 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmZI7xFisHA ...

I am really enjoying the summer thus far!  I love riding the bicycle, sometimes going 30 miles or more on a ride, or tackling some big hills here in the city. I got an A in the winter class, and started the condensed, fast moving summer class. It shouldn't be too much of a problem.   Just this one and two more....! But I know really I am empty inside. I have no friends, no significant other.  It's hopeless. I haven't changed much over the last 20 years. The same things that bothered me then bother me now. Of course there are differences - and changes for the better, I would like to think.  But I still have the same faults, make the same mistakes when it comes to people, and still have the same anxieties about socializing and being the center of attention. That's all I care to say now. I care about those things, but DON'T care, at the same time. Mastodon is dominating the chart this month! Next month, they may strike with another single from the very good a...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I can't allow myself to ramble the same things I said in 2010 and 2011. I had a few ideas about how to express myself here, but after a glance at my 2010 and 2011 January posts, I decided to spare myself the monotony. I'm just lonely, and living an unrewarding life. Don't preach, or give advice. I am simply a miserable person, trapped in this life. It's not my own choice, really. I would like nothing more for contentment and satisfaction, but there is something much more at play here. Who knows exactly what it is. Well, one thing could be that I just let the world (and people) get me down. No, I don't LET that happen, but it does. "Thin-skinned" might be the proper term. So sue me, that is how I am - overly sensitive. I can't help it. Music is everything to me. How someone can take an idea, concept, or just a casual fiddling around and create a song to me is amazing. Lately I've been interested in Tool, even though back in the da...

Here I am again. August, 2011. I can't believe I've made it to the halfway point of 2011. If you woulda asked me back in, say, 1985 that I would see the 21st century, I'd say "nah, hopefully I would kill myself long before that!". Long story short - i've stuck it out in this shitty life and im now officially middle aged. yes, middle aged and people still treat me like a kid. Why do I even bother waxing about it? I'm sick of hearing in my head my words here. I should just do it, for pete's sake. End it. I just don't want to destroy my parents lives. So I have to wait until they pass first. *eye roll* I am so frustrated with everything i do, everything i try, everyone i know. I feel so alone, even amongst people with whom i SHOULDNT be alone. im a mess - its all internal. its all me. I love "new low". blondie is back with another studio album (their ninth); this is the third since their "reunion" (which didnt inclu...