My Top 5 Songs

I am at a strange peace.  I went to church tonight, and as usual, my mind strayed for most of it.  Sorry, but I have some kind of adult deficit disorder thing.  At least I went.  I do take spirituality seriously.  I can honestly say I have my doubts ANYTHING about it is true, but at the same time, my mind finds justification about the existence of God.  Hmmm...nah, will delve into it in a future posting, maybe. Well, I took a scalding hot shower after re-reading my previous month's post.  Yes, with clear conscious I was involved in meaningless encounters, but I wince when I read what sounds like gloating about it.  I probably will never have a long lasting, deep relationship.  I think I've known this for over 2 decades. I just can't do it - I am damaged in a way and that is why marriage will never happen, I guess. But that in no way means a life is mis-used. You can still touch people deeply (I am restraining to make a frat boy comment he...

This is late. And this is the first time I will have typed anything in a posting since I dunno when. It is 2018.  I am doing OK. I have not had my usual seasonal affective disorder (my diagnosis), but then again I am so constantly uninspired and glum that there would be no difference, dark cloudy cold days or not. One notable thing is that unlike every holiday season since I could remember, I was not eager to get laid.  I mean, EVERY November through January, for decades, your boy was horny as a horny toad.   2016 was especially a whore fest.  Last year at this time, I had some experiences but they were not spectacular.  This year...hmm, no real desire. It's too much work to try to hook up.   Music keeps me going.  I really am enjoying listening to Dinosoul.  There are other newly found songs I have saved to youtube.  I don't make a habit of listening to music much (for months, now), hence the slow moving charts.   It ...

'Sweatin' to the oldies', one might say in these dog days of summer. 'Sweatin'" was an aerobics/exercise routine from maybe 10 years ago.  Anyway, yea, this is one hot summer, and we are barely into it. Recently I completed a small part in a movie, and I acted in a play.  For the former - fun, and I was lucky enough to use the day on set to cement some acquaintanceships - well, they can't call them 'friendships' exactly, and I doubt they were 'cemented'.  but I saw movie crew I had worked with in the past. That's a good thing, because they might keep me in mind for future roles. For the latter - the play - well, that was OK. Good and bad. Mostly negative - this was a dinky play that wasn't even very good.  Some of the people were so hard to deal with. They were always stressed, curt, and swearing.....it's ok, it was decent acting experience, although a small role (as usual). I have an audition coming up for a one act play. ...