My Top 5 Songs

OCTOBER 2017 1.  "Nimble Bastard", by Incubus 1, 1, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foq4RPR_70 2.  "My Name is Human", by Highly Suspect 3, 2, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5-gja10qkw 3.   "Show Yourself", by Mastodon  2, 1, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUGda7GdZPQ 4.  "Feel Alive", by Red-Sided Garter Snakes 4, 4, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qysnVcbA-c4 5.  "Moth Into Flame", by Metallica 5, 1, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdKl-gTpZg OCTOBER 2016 1.  "Shock Me", by Baroness 1, 1, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS5osAdTnm0 2.  "Also Am I", by 36 Crazyfists 2, 2, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLkm-Bpkgv4 3.  "Once More 'Round the Sun", by Mastodon 4, 3, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI81VTGTdaU 4.  "Cirice", by Ghost 3, 1, 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Ao4t_fe0I 5.  "Ember City", by Mastodon  5, 3, 4 http...

APRIL 2017 1. " Phantom Bride", by Deftones 1, 1,  2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSycaeY7qi4 2.  "Don't Let Me Down", by Chainsmokers featuring Daya 2, 1, 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0fBr1XBUA 3. "Moth Into Flame", by Metallica -, 3, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdKl-gTpZg 4.  "Mountain at My Gates", by Foals 3, 2, 4  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_EIE5f2t6M 5.  "Feel Alive", by Red-Sided Garter Snakes -, 5, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qysnVcbA-c4 APRIL 2016 1.  "Vanishing Man", by The Church 1, 1, 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul13hip5LOM 2.  "Tread Lightly", by Mastodon 4, 2, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ja8cXdo5fA 3. "Come a Little Closer", by Cage the Elephant 2, 2, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYup3Qwh8Q 4. "Sick Like Me", by In This Moment, 4, 4, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03X0B6u-AxM&list=RD03X0B6u-AxM ...

I feel old. And, anachronistic. I just am so full of anxiety as I feel so out of place, anywhere. But I've always felt like that, ever since I can remember. I live like I'm in my 20s, in a way. I think the silliest things are funny. Any (few) 'friends' I DO have are in their 20s. I just can't get a grip on who I am, what I want to do with my life, where I'm going, and everything else. I'm a middle aged nothing loser...I just can't cope anymore with anxiety, depression, and stress. What makes me happy? Music does, I guess. My acting might, although the opportunities have dried up, and I've actually gotten to be a worse actor, because of my nervousness and self-consciousness. Yea - I mean, I was getting better, had impressed a few people, but then the last 3 auditions sucked lemons. I got into acting to get OVER this shit, and ive slid backwards into the pit of low-esteem. I dont want to see summer 2012. I dont want to be around by that time. I just ...