My Top 5 Songs

Late this month....this should be the last month that I slack like this... BECAUSE I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL.....forever! I am now equipped with a Master's Degree in a particular sub-area of Civil Engineering, so I guess in a way, I am a "somebody", even though I do not have my professional license. I don't want to THINK about advancing the career, possibly for a better paying job or something like that.  I just am tired of starting again....like the song "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters says. It's OK - the current status quo isn't bad.   By the end of the year, I will think about possibly looking for a better job, and studying up on things to maybe take the PE exam in 2017 or 2018.   But for now, I just want to relax, enjoy some things, possibly try to build some semblance of a social life...maybe get laid some time, which would be great.  Last winter, I actually did get some action.  I hated the idea of an online type of hookup thing - but ...

I am really enjoying the summer thus far!  I love riding the bicycle, sometimes going 30 miles or more on a ride, or tackling some big hills here in the city. I got an A in the winter class, and started the condensed, fast moving summer class. It shouldn't be too much of a problem.   Just this one and two more....! But I know really I am empty inside. I have no friends, no significant other.  It's hopeless. I haven't changed much over the last 20 years. The same things that bothered me then bother me now. Of course there are differences - and changes for the better, I would like to think.  But I still have the same faults, make the same mistakes when it comes to people, and still have the same anxieties about socializing and being the center of attention. That's all I care to say now. I care about those things, but DON'T care, at the same time. Mastodon is dominating the chart this month! Next month, they may strike with another single from the very good a...

It was a fun summer. Half way through, I got into a new apartment. I like the new pad very much. I rode my bike a lot, doing hills, too, and I lost a few pounds. I have more energy, and can do some hills with such ease now. All in all, a happy time for Mr. Poopy Head (me).  The school semester started. I am optimistic since this class should pose little difficulty. I am still so alone, though. I guess this is what I'm comfortable being - alone, so that is why I shy away from knowing someone, or more than one, a little better. I don't like personal get-togethers, I guess because I think I will bore someone, or have nothing to say. It's all anxiety. Football season has started!  Autumn approacheth!  Me happy on different levels, with little to complain about except for lack of affection, either friendship-wise, or of a more personal nature. Oh well..... Not much of a change with the Top 5.  I have a TON of current songs saved to a playlist, but can't get arou...

Here I am again. August, 2011. I can't believe I've made it to the halfway point of 2011. If you woulda asked me back in, say, 1985 that I would see the 21st century, I'd say "nah, hopefully I would kill myself long before that!". Long story short - i've stuck it out in this shitty life and im now officially middle aged. yes, middle aged and people still treat me like a kid. Why do I even bother waxing about it? I'm sick of hearing in my head my words here. I should just do it, for pete's sake. End it. I just don't want to destroy my parents lives. So I have to wait until they pass first. *eye roll* I am so frustrated with everything i do, everything i try, everyone i know. I feel so alone, even amongst people with whom i SHOULDNT be alone. im a mess - its all internal. its all me. I love "new low". blondie is back with another studio album (their ninth); this is the third since their "reunion" (which didnt inclu...

Is 2011 flying along or what? Father Time is in a hurry to usher us all to our demise in 2012, I suppose. ha. I have to minimize the negativity in my life. I've realized that for many, many years, I've been a little hard on myself - all this negativity isn't TOTALLY due to myself. It has a lot to do with other people. For some reason, I gravitate to negativity and negative people. So in a way, it's my doing, but sometimes you can't help but be affected by the negativity that spews from people you have to associate with. That's a very simplified explanation. What an interesting month for the Top 5! TWO new entries - how refreshing! Adele kicked butt but her songs are waning. Very respectable for her. BLONDIE is back with their best album since their reunion (well, thats not sayin much). They still have a bit of fluff on the new CD, but the songs arent bad. I'd say there are no less than 3 possible hits on the CD - not that they'll be hits, but they a...