My Top 5 Songs

A new year. I won't wax philosophic - I'm not good at that, exactly. You know, opining with clever sentences and saying something enticing of a chuckle or two, while warming your heart in nervous anticipation of another year...I will spare myself the attempt at that. I will say this: I tried to wipe the proverbial slate clean. No more self-guessing. No more apologizing for stupid stuff that doesn't require an apology. Grab life. Face challenges. Stop being afraid of things getting hard or more difficult.  Just do it, dammit!  Accept the days when I feel miserable, or when I don't feel happy, and just deal with it...then move on. Oh, the insanity that is me. I'm so busy with acting opportunities coming up - trying to learn an English accents, practicing monologues, and trying to drop a few pounds to just look a bit healthier. Work is starting to suck, though. I have to amp up my effort. Well, the very cool "Running Backwards" by Geoff Tate's Que...

Contentment of November turns to complacency.  I am not motivated to do much except keep up with my class. I just can't adapt to middle age. I don't feel I'm in 'my place'. I had NEVER felt that way - never comfortable in my own skin. Frankly I am sick of 'hearing' myself as I type this shit for what now?  The last two years or so?  There is little point, it seems, to continue this way.  Hey, I am not ungrateful for what I have - running water, indoor plumbing, a roof over my head, knowing I (probably) won't get shot by a sniper like some poor person in Syria or something. Yes, I am fully aware of the torment a lot of people go through daily just to stay alive, let alone be happy. But it's hard to explain how overwhelming frustration and sadness are. Music.....Geoff Tate's Queensryche hits the top spot!  Pretty good album. The haters (and Tate has a lot on youtube!) can hate - its a great song, it really is. I think the guitar solo was done...