My Top 5 Songs

Ain't no cure for the summertime blues. I am still in a very anxious state.  I hate my job, but really, do I want to start AGAIN at my age?  I don't belong anywhere.  I am so alone in this world. JULY 2017 1.   "Show Yourself", by Mastodon  2, 1, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUGda7GdZPQ 2.  "Moth Into Flame", by Metallica 1, 1, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdKl-gTpZg 3. "Nimble Bastard", by Incubus -, 3, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foq4RPR_70 4. "My Name is Human", by Highly Suspect 4, 4, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5-gja10qkw 5.  "Feel Alive", by Red-Sided Garter Snakes 5, 5, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qysnVcbA-c4 JULY 2016 1.  "Cirice", by Ghost 1, 1, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Ao4t_fe0I 2. "Shock Me", by Baroness -, 2, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS5osAdTnm0 3. "Ember City", by Mastodon -, 3, 1 https://www.yout...

FEBRUARY 2017 1.  "Don't Let Me Down", by Chainsmokers featuring Daya 1, 1, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0fBr1XBUA 2.  "Mountain at My Gates", by Foals 3, 2, 2  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_EIE5f2t6M 3.  "Also Am I", by 36 Crazyfists 2, 1, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLkm-Bpkgv4 5.  "Joyride", by Chevelle 5, 4, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=710aT-Uj_7c 4.  "Shock Me", by Baroness 3, 1, 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS5osAdTnm0 FEBRUARY 2016 1.  "Vanishing Man", by The Church 1, 1, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul13hip5LOM 2. "Come a Little Closer", by Cage the Elephant 3, 2, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYup3Qwh8Q 3.  "Wildfire", by Borgeous 2, 1, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmZI7xFisHA 4. "Tread Lightly", by Mastodon -, 4, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ja8cXdo5fA 5.  "Take Out the Gunman", by Chevelle 5...

I'm very late this month.  I have been very busy trying to hustle acting gigs, and getting music together, as well as tending to family engagements (Labor Day, birthday parties, weddings, etc., etc., etc.). I don't have much to say, except I think my life is meant to be sabotaged by people's misery.  I always find myself dragged down into the pits of despair of those I love. I see it as doing my duty out of love and loyalty.   Here's the thing - none of them ever support my in my endeavors to enrich my life, enjoy my life, try different things, and so forth - all to try to make contentment if not happiness IN this life.  Hardly one word of encouragement....just blank stares...as if they might be thinking "oh look at you, mr. show off", or "im glad you are happy and it's too bad i cant be happy, too", or "wait - you try things outside your comfort zone of depression and isolation...i dont even know you anymore!!!" I listen to the glo...