My Top 5 Songs

I start a new job this week.  I have rejoined the human race.  The reasons I feel my previous place of employment was (no, IS) an abortion and the most fucked up organization are too numerous, and too in-depth.   I am done.  I have a better job, with hopefully a better culture, with better people, waiting for me.  I am actually looking foward to GOING TO WORK....this is the first time in over 15 years that I can say that.  I am late this month with the charts. But what an interesting month it is! Mastodon - out. I never did go back and "revisit" the album that charted just two songs.  I barely remember any of that album.  I will listen to it again several times - I don't think I really absorbed it.  This little known band, Shin Guard has the #1 spot, and another song at #4.  I always forget how I stumble on a band on youtube, and somehow get attached to a couple of their songs.  Maybe it's because they are an unsigned b...

Very late this month.  I have been so busy with my job, which has me underpaid and with expectations beyond my job title.  It figures. Worst part is that all the time I spent getting through graduate school is all for not.  I will never use any of that in this stupid admin job that I have. I barely remember "Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder.  I am listening to it now because after typing in that song title (for the 2008 chart, below), I was puzzled. I think I remember it, but vaguely. That is all for this month..... June 2018 1.  "Sultan's Curse", by Mastodon 1, 1, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og39iIBeOHI 2.  "You Turned Everything to Paper", by Shin Guard 3, 2, 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIXhJaMratA 3.  "Conscious", by Sthlm Falls 4, 3, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_yc-2b2fBw 4.  "Heavy Dirty Soul", by Twenty One Pilots 2, 2, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_9Kf0D5BTs 5.  "Illusion", by...

December 2017 1.  "Dimension", by Dinosoul 5, 2, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYYaSwWX5VQ 2.   "Nimble Bastard", by Incubus 1, 1, 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foq4RPR_70 3. "Illusion", by Dinosoul -, 3, 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOXkH_xaEpg 4.  "My Name is Human", by Highly Suspect 2, 2, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5-gja10qkw 5.   "Show Yourself", by Mastodon  3, 1, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUGda7GdZPQ December 2016 1.  "Also Am I", by 36 Crazyfists 1, 1, 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLkm-Bpkgv4 2. "Don't Let Me Down", by Chainsmokers featuring Daya 4, 2, 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0fBr1XBUA 3.  "Shock Me", by Baroness 2, 1, 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS5osAdTnm0 4.  "Once More 'Round the Sun", by Mastodon 3, 3, 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI81VTGTdaU 5.  "Joyride", by Che...

I did not write anything last month because I did not care to.  So strange - as if I am writing FOR someone.  Really, this who thing, aside from my deep love of music, is therapeutic for me.  As if just writing out my feelings would help. I don't know if I've been helped.  All I can say is I am still thrilled that I am out of graduate school, almost for a year now.  As usual, the seasonal affective disorder (my diagnosis) hit this last winter, making me  miserable and glum on a daily basis. I have been working out, having lost weight, and feeling good mentally as well as physically. I have a second job a few hours a week to keep me busy and keep my mind off of deep introspection that usually results in suicidal fantasies.   I haven't pursued anonymous sex like last year.  I don't know if the drive is gone since I'm a year older, or if it has more to do with my crazy mind. I have branched out a little to get involved in various things,...

Better late than never, as I lay here dying...from food asphyxiation/intoxication...in other words, it's Thanksgiving night and I am questioning my existence when feeling like shit from...eating.  I mean, a basic carbon life form function, and it makes me sick (not sick like I'm vomiting, but sick as in languid, tired, sleepy but not enough to sleep). It's a holiday - pass granted.  Diet starts tomorrow! Life continues, and is going well.  I still have the doldrums, but I guess I am doing what people need to do, in lieu of marriage and having children - expand your horizons, try out different things, stay busy.  The song from 36 Crazyfists hits #1.  A band I never heard of until this song, which is about 2 years old now.  I just never tired of it, and it remained on my youtube favorites, and when I tired of other songs, "Also Am I" got closer attention.  What a simply straighforward, kick ass song. The new entry is an EDM type song.  It h...

Well, 2013 bumps along.  If I were a reader of my blog, I probably would have stopped following a long time ago. It's the same old thing with me - chronic lonliness, sadness....I just don't understand the world. Often I'm not good with people.  I've developed anxiety - not to a crippling degree, but where I have to THINK about anything I say, hoping to not regret what I say, or to sound stupid. All in all, things are going well, though. This semester is almost done, and I thought I was doomed for a C or D, but I think an A is still possible (I'll take a B and be happy). I miss guitar. I was really into it for a few months, having decided I will (finally) make it a priority and whatnot.  It just never became a daily thing. Since the new year, I may have played it once or twice. I still haven't given up the dream of becoming a good guitarist, in a band that does song I've written, that kicks ass but is still an intelligent band. OK, on to over-analyzing ...