My Top 5 Songs

OK, I am late this month.  My motivation took a dive.  I have been hampered with a partially torn bicep, and a cold that isn't really a cold anymore more than just a disgusting, steady stream of nasal drip from the inside of my fat head into my throat. On that note, I continue.  First let me say formatting this stupid blog is a disaster.  Why other fonts become current just after starting a new paragraph is beyond me.  I understand hidden, non-visible coding that may exist, like it does in Word, but I swear I correct that by deleting blank lines...only to have these return. It's a new year.  The charts are slow moving, stagnant, and non-inspiring.  That may change as a slew of new songs makes their way into my youtube favorites. But it may not matter... ...I think I am heading to the end here.  I am just fed up, but as always, I am not sure what I am fed up WITH. I have working arms, legs, a safe living environment. I am not in poverty, and...

OK, one week into the month, and I'm posting for my throngs of afficionados.  Not bad - normally I'm 2 weeks late, or longer. Love the autumn. Well, it has its plus and minuses.  Big minus - the university people come back.  I live in a great American city with a huge university presence - and they pretty much dominate the better parts of this city.   And they are usually fucking stupid in public spaces - driving, on the bus, anywhere.  Look, I was dumb too at that age.  I did not think ahead, I felt like it was my right to be afforded an explanation for everything, and to be catered to....I might be hard on myself and maybe I was not THAT bad.  Even at that age, I had an excellent work ethic learned from my parents.  But, yea, I was at times a dick.   But an independent thinker, at least.  I was never a herd follower, and usually was alone most of the time.  Fine by me! I am not an angry old man.  It's just that when ...

Whew!  Summer class over...got an A.  This wasn't a total chore - it was a pretty easy class. Two more...then I am done with graduate school...just nine more months or so.  Question is, what to do AFTER that?   Advance my career?  I just don't want to work more hours doing what I do, and instead want to focus on... ...have you been paying attention to my blog?   Yes, that is correct!  Music, acting, stuff like that.  And weightlifting and staying in shape, too. I'm actually in a good mood.  I feel good, but as usual, I'm sullen...with no relationships, nowhere to fit in, nothing....So as long as the weather  is nice and I can get out and walk and ride the bike, I'm good.  Otherwise, I suck. Chalk up another #1 for Mastodon.  They now have two.  Some day I will have to research what bands have the most #1s, most Top 5 songs, etc.  No doubt Godsmack will dominate most of those categories. The eerie and hauntin...

Contentment of November turns to complacency.  I am not motivated to do much except keep up with my class. I just can't adapt to middle age. I don't feel I'm in 'my place'. I had NEVER felt that way - never comfortable in my own skin. Frankly I am sick of 'hearing' myself as I type this shit for what now?  The last two years or so?  There is little point, it seems, to continue this way.  Hey, I am not ungrateful for what I have - running water, indoor plumbing, a roof over my head, knowing I (probably) won't get shot by a sniper like some poor person in Syria or something. Yes, I am fully aware of the torment a lot of people go through daily just to stay alive, let alone be happy. But it's hard to explain how overwhelming frustration and sadness are. Music.....Geoff Tate's Queensryche hits the top spot!  Pretty good album. The haters (and Tate has a lot on youtube!) can hate - its a great song, it really is. I think the guitar solo was done...