My Top 5 Songs

Very late this month, but it doesn't matter since I knew at the beginning of the month exactly how it would look. First, my monthly bitch about life...I have not much to say. It is what it is.  I am unhappy overall, as usual.  Much of it has to do with my father - he is just fucking miserable, and that has created a life of frustration, drudgery, and enslavement for my mom.  She is old school - loyal, hard working, not one to venture into the unknown -  otherwise, she would have divorced his ass years ago. This has caused for me a lot of emotional pain over the years.   The Church has an entry for the first time since June 4th, 2005. Their most recent album is...boring. I tired of it pretty fast, but "Vanishing Man" really is a cool song.  I will have to get the album back to rotation to absorb other potential charting songs.   I remember liking the album, but its because I like The Church, and not because it was good on its own.  I saw th...

I kept putting this off...it's another thing on the schedule.  MORE time at the computer.  I need a break - I need frivolty: watching movies, driving around for the helluvit, getting a pizza at midnight.... I am just so busy, as usual. A cousin got married recently.  It was nice to see family from other states and provinces, for the first time in years.  I always feel dull, and that no one really wants to talk to me that much. Little do they know how interesting I am - I just am not the conventional citizen as they are.  They are mostly all nice people, but just...typical.  I just do not feel I am typical.  My dreams are for music and acting....honestly, they are. Here is this month's Top 5.  Mastodon just kicks ass, what more can be said.  There is weakness among the big hits, though, now that I can devote more time to my saved playlist of current favorites. I missed Jane's Addiction, by the way.  I was not feeling well, and ...

Late entry this month... There's not much to say. I got a B in my graduate class. It's a minor miracle. His grading curve was so lenient, though - it HAS to be, since that professor was ridiculously bad at teaching. There is no way I can go back to that for how many more years. I don't particularly like that school - its so crowded and noisy. And this lousy teacher? I'd have to take him at least two more times! No thanks.... I am in the process of exploring/applying to an alternative.  I will be certain in a few days as to whether I will enroll at a different school. My goal is to lose 15 pounds by Sept. 1.  My weight fluctuates (like everyone's, at different points of the day), so for my starting weight I'll just put an even 200lb.  I know very well that to be successful, I will have to really up my physical activity.  I will have to improve my eating habits, but they aren't totally bad to begin with, and I don't see a need to give up certain plea...

Late again, this month...the Top 5 should be posted within the first weekend of the month. September flies by, and many changes have taken place for me this year. Different siutations, and in some cases, the same old situations because I have habits or a way of living that will never change, I guess. My sadness comes and goes. I have a feeling of despair as I returned to school where I did my undergrad - a place I loathed and for which I have few fond feelings. I had thought that this time, I can MAKE it great, be PROACTIVE in enjoying my time there as I try to better myself and my life situation with advanced education. I'm not hopeless that that will happen. What I am scared of, as always, is MYSELF. I am my own worst enemy, with my laziness, procrastination, pessimism, and lack of motivation. I hate me sometimes. This month's Top 5 is rather strange. Compared to past years, it is very much NOT a dark selection (what with Godsmack, Disturbed, Linkin Park, etc.). Interesting....