My Top 5 Songs

I am at a strange peace.  I went to church tonight, and as usual, my mind strayed for most of it.  Sorry, but I have some kind of adult deficit disorder thing.  At least I went.  I do take spirituality seriously.  I can honestly say I have my doubts ANYTHING about it is true, but at the same time, my mind finds justification about the existence of God.  Hmmm...nah, will delve into it in a future posting, maybe. Well, I took a scalding hot shower after re-reading my previous month's post.  Yes, with clear conscious I was involved in meaningless encounters, but I wince when I read what sounds like gloating about it.  I probably will never have a long lasting, deep relationship.  I think I've known this for over 2 decades. I just can't do it - I am damaged in a way and that is why marriage will never happen, I guess. But that in no way means a life is mis-used. You can still touch people deeply (I am restraining to make a frat boy comment he...

Autumn descends on us. The nights are chilly.  I love this time of year.  I generally do not like winter, but do like autumn and in more recent years, summer.  Spring is tough because its generally rainy, humid, and how do you dress comfortably in those months?   It's cold in the morning and much warmer in the mid-day and afternoon. Yea, that's very interesting - my talking about the weather. I am listening to a posting at The Demoniacal, a website that collects and blogs daily different videos and articles on the paranormal, UFOs, and the like.  The current entry is a podcast where Bob Cranmer is interviewed.  He was a former county commissioner in Pennsylvania, and recently released a book about his family's haunting.  Listening to the guy is startling - he firmly believes this and explains the situations so matter of factly.  Maybe I should mention things in the world that are greater than my stupid little world and my problems...

Very hate this month...next week another installment of the Top 5 Songs will be due!  Its OK, its fun for a couple reasons - I am REALLY, REALLY enjoying "The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here". As you can see, AIC has TWO songs now and they may go 3 for 5 by this time next week! It's a very enjoyable album.  Like I mentioned before, upon first listen, I was not moved in any way, shape or form! This year is going along OK.  My mental healing continues. I have a bout of depression now and then, and they have gotten a bit worse, but I attribute it to stress, and the winter.  I have been very busy with school (this current class sucks), and pursing acting opportunities.  Since January, I have auditioned for at least 4 things, which includes some theater companies. And...so far I'm shut out. It's frustrating. I'm a decent actor, but I think its my 'look', first and foremost. I don't really have a 'look', so people don't know what to do with me...