My Top 5 Songs

Before you blink, the summer will have passed by.  And it's been pretty good. I made time to get away for a few days, have been bike riding, planning ahead for acting, and so on. Life has been OK lately.  I am stressed from chronic neck pain and stiffness, and the headaches that result from my trying to work out the stiffness.  I will get that checked in due time. In the meantime, here is my Top 5 for August.  The song from 36 Crazyfists had been on my list of current songs for quite a while.  The competition from hard rock/metal songs has been tough the last year or more, because of Mastodon in large part.  Anyway, welcome, 36 Crazyfists, to a song tracking blog that has zero readers!  They have been around since 1994 - I only heard of them from this song, "Also Am I".   Great song.....I'm listening to them now via youtube, a song called "Slit Wrist Theory", which is pretty damn good, too! That is all - I actually have an audition for what...

I had such a good summer last year. I can't bear to read my pathetic posts from the summer months of 2013, but I do remember getting a lot of bike riding in, if nothing else. I did not have a class (I will this summer, and the next), so I was rather carefree.  My personal issues were still there, though - no real friendships, lonliness, confusion about other things..... So thus far, I have enjoyed the good weather and managed to get out to the amusement park (a rarity for me).  I am continually frustrated that the person I love (I think) does not wish me to visit. Its about an hour + 10 minute drive.  Again and again, I am denied.  I haven't seen this person in TWO YEARS!  The whole thing is...complicated.  I just can't let go - I feel this person should be a part of my life, although it's been one big headache for the last 4 years - when we met. I did get the "B" I needed.  My next class is another bull sh--requirement - Communication or some crap...

Well, 2013 bumps along.  If I were a reader of my blog, I probably would have stopped following a long time ago. It's the same old thing with me - chronic lonliness, sadness....I just don't understand the world. Often I'm not good with people.  I've developed anxiety - not to a crippling degree, but where I have to THINK about anything I say, hoping to not regret what I say, or to sound stupid. All in all, things are going well, though. This semester is almost done, and I thought I was doomed for a C or D, but I think an A is still possible (I'll take a B and be happy). I miss guitar. I was really into it for a few months, having decided I will (finally) make it a priority and whatnot.  It just never became a daily thing. Since the new year, I may have played it once or twice. I still haven't given up the dream of becoming a good guitarist, in a band that does song I've written, that kicks ass but is still an intelligent band. OK, on to over-analyzing ...