My Top 5 Songs

This month's post is VERY late.  I had to move more suddenly than I anticipated.  The predictable lack of inaccessibility to the internet took hold, and a couple of weeks slipped by, and there you have it - a late Top 5 installment for my hordes of hungry readers... ... Haha!  What readers!?! Well, summer rolls on. I am enjoying it, but always, as usual, sad about...something, whatever it may be. First things first:  the reason I moved.  On a Sunday night in late June, I heard strange noises in my ceiling. In most areas of the previous apartment, the ceiling was a 'drop' ceiling, built of suspended tiles. I heard something weird in the bathroom - and there I saw a ceiling tile partially removed from the framing. I pushed it back up, then heard a small squealing.  "It's a dog outside", I tried to convince myself. So these unusual sounds continued, and I followed them to a nearby area, where another tile was not fully closed (this was/is an old apar...

*SiGH*  Ups and downs, as usual. I could be doing pretty well for about a week, then everything - my optimism, self-confidence, and general outlook on life, come crashing down into a negative posture. If there are new things to try, there's hope. It's like buying time. If I didn't have this false hope, I would fall into depression like in years past.  I don't care. Who reads this stupid blog? I fucking hate my dumb life. JUNE 2013 1. "Diamonds", by Rihanna 1, 1,4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWA2pjMjpBs 2. "Can't Get Better Than This", by Parachute Youth 2, 2, 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHC302BjEhY 3. "Bride of Infinity", by Blondie 3, 3, 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIIf-Qo8XJo 4. "Glass Mountain", by Radiana -,4,1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL4gIiuCB-A 5. "Live to Rise", by Soundgarden 5, 5, 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3ZNtOcY_1A JUNE 2012 1. "The Sound of Winter"...

Late entry this month... There's not much to say. I got a B in my graduate class. It's a minor miracle. His grading curve was so lenient, though - it HAS to be, since that professor was ridiculously bad at teaching. There is no way I can go back to that for how many more years. I don't particularly like that school - its so crowded and noisy. And this lousy teacher? I'd have to take him at least two more times! No thanks.... I am in the process of exploring/applying to an alternative.  I will be certain in a few days as to whether I will enroll at a different school. My goal is to lose 15 pounds by Sept. 1.  My weight fluctuates (like everyone's, at different points of the day), so for my starting weight I'll just put an even 200lb.  I know very well that to be successful, I will have to really up my physical activity.  I will have to improve my eating habits, but they aren't totally bad to begin with, and I don't see a need to give up certain plea...

Well, 2013 bumps along.  If I were a reader of my blog, I probably would have stopped following a long time ago. It's the same old thing with me - chronic lonliness, sadness....I just don't understand the world. Often I'm not good with people.  I've developed anxiety - not to a crippling degree, but where I have to THINK about anything I say, hoping to not regret what I say, or to sound stupid. All in all, things are going well, though. This semester is almost done, and I thought I was doomed for a C or D, but I think an A is still possible (I'll take a B and be happy). I miss guitar. I was really into it for a few months, having decided I will (finally) make it a priority and whatnot.  It just never became a daily thing. Since the new year, I may have played it once or twice. I still haven't given up the dream of becoming a good guitarist, in a band that does song I've written, that kicks ass but is still an intelligent band. OK, on to over-analyzing ...

Very, very late this month.  I just got tied up with this graduate class I'm taking that is driving me nuts. 3/4 of the way through, and I am so confused. I am not a person that blames everyone else for my problems...but really, this teacher is so bad. THAT is the problem. I am consumed each week trying to get homework done, but I'm clueless as how to even start it!  So it's not like I can see the instructor at his office - what would I ask? I'm just so lost and figuring everything out on my own time - that's like doubling the time in class. *SIGH* But I perservere. In a week or two, I will do April's Top 5, and make some comments on my stupid life and my lovely songs.  Here is this month's very late Top 5: MARCH 2013 1.  "Underground", by Jane's Addiction 3, 1, 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VALinUhZkKQ 2.  Sleeping Giant", by Blondie 2, 2, 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdhCUzFQ4Hs 3. "Diamonds", by Rihanna ...

I love the winter.  I can't stand people that complain about it, though.  There are people out there collecting garbage, working in construction, putting out fires....all in the elements, be it cats and dogs or raining frogs. Yet people on the bus going to their cushy office job complain how cold it is.  Um, moron, try layers, a hat, and a nice toasty pair of long underwear and you'll see how easy it is....people are just lazy and stupid and whiny. I guess I'm whining now (ha!) but I'm just sick of 'soft' people who can't take care of themselves. Everything is difficult, the government is there to give you stuff, wah wah wah....here's a tissue. Surprisingly, my self-loathing is substituted by a sense of misanthropy that I admit I enjoy.  If I can only get over THAT, and not be so judgmental and more forgiving, I think I will have reached some level of enlightenment where I can be happier and more focused. But until then, put down your effing cell...

A new year. A new start. A fresh attitude. Over the years, I've realized that it wasn't just me - a lot of people take that "clean slate - start anew" strategy.  I always thought I was the only one that had to "start over", as if everything up to then was a total failure. Well, here we go - a new year. Can I keep up the resolutions  - to distance myself from negativity? to get in great shape and feel good? to finally be able to play guitar better? Speaking of which - although I don't put as much time into it as I should, I am getting better at guitar. I hope to finally excel at it this year. And, in just days - graduate school starts.  Yikes. Say goodbye to a good night's sleep for the next 3 years, I guess. My escape is, and always will be...music.  Read on, if you dare.... The very beautiful song by this band called Echo and Drake sits at the top. It's a strange thing when you love a song by a band that you know nothing about.  These...