MAY 2017

I did not write anything last month because I did not care to.  So strange - as if I am writing FOR someone.  Really, this who thing, aside from my deep love of music, is therapeutic for me.  As if just writing out my feelings would help.

I don't know if I've been helped.  All I can say is I am still thrilled that I am out of graduate school, almost for a year now.  As usual, the seasonal affective disorder (my diagnosis) hit this last winter, making me miserable and glum on a daily basis.

I have been working out, having lost weight, and feeling good mentally as well as physically. I have a second job a few hours a week to keep me busy and keep my mind off of deep introspection that usually results in suicidal fantasies.  

I haven't pursued anonymous sex like last year.  I don't know if the drive is gone since I'm a year older, or if it has more to do with my crazy mind.

 I have branched out a little to get involved in various things, to make friends. I have never really had close, supportive friends, and at this point, have almost no friends.  Those I do have do not enjoy some of the same things I do.  I would love to enjoy with friends a TV sporting event  while eating pizza or dinner or something. 

 Mastodon's new album came out.  It's pretty good.  You can hear guitar chops that are in the songs from "Once More Round the Sun".  

 This formatting is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Lots of good stuff out there..I'm too tired and just want to finish the posting, which is very late for this month.

MAY 2017

1. " Phantom Bride", by Deftones 1, 1, 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSycaeY7qi4

 2. "Moth Into Flame", by Metallica 3, 2, 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdKl-gTpZg

 3. "Don't Let Me Down", by Chainsmokers featuring Daya 2, 1, 7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0fBr1XBUA

 4. "Mountain at My Gates", by Foals 4, 2, 5 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_EIE5f2t6M

5. "Feel Alive", by Red-Sided Garter Snakes 5, 5, 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qysnVcbA-c4



MAY 2016

1. "Tread Lightly", by Mastodon 2,1, 4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ja8cXdo5fA

2. "Cirice", by Ghost -, 2, 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Ao4t_fe0I

3. "Vanishing Man", by The Church 1, 1, 7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul13hip5LOM

4. "Sick Like Me", by In This Moment, 4, 4, 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03X0B6u-AxM&list=RD03X0B6u-AxM

5.  "Wildfire", by Borgeous 5, 1, 10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmZI7xFisHA



MAY  2007

1."Steady as She Goes", by The Raconteurs
2. "All These Things I Hate", by Bullet for my Valentine
3. "Lotus Flower", by Tearwave
4. "Enemy", by Godsmack
5. "Fully Alive", by Flyleaf

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