My Top 5 Songs

Very, very late this month.  I just got tied up with this graduate class I'm taking that is driving me nuts. 3/4 of the way through, and I am so confused. I am not a person that blames everyone else for my problems...but really, this teacher is so bad. THAT is the problem. I am consumed each week trying to get homework done, but I'm clueless as how to even start it!  So it's not like I can see the instructor at his office - what would I ask? I'm just so lost and figuring everything out on my own time - that's like doubling the time in class. *SIGH* But I perservere. In a week or two, I will do April's Top 5, and make some comments on my stupid life and my lovely songs.  Here is this month's very late Top 5: MARCH 2013 1.  "Underground", by Jane's Addiction 3, 1, 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VALinUhZkKQ 2.  Sleeping Giant", by Blondie 2, 2, 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdhCUzFQ4Hs 3. "Diamonds", by Rihanna ...

I love the winter.  I can't stand people that complain about it, though.  There are people out there collecting garbage, working in construction, putting out fires....all in the elements, be it cats and dogs or raining frogs. Yet people on the bus going to their cushy office job complain how cold it is.  Um, moron, try layers, a hat, and a nice toasty pair of long underwear and you'll see how easy it is....people are just lazy and stupid and whiny. I guess I'm whining now (ha!) but I'm just sick of 'soft' people who can't take care of themselves. Everything is difficult, the government is there to give you stuff, wah wah wah....here's a tissue. Surprisingly, my self-loathing is substituted by a sense of misanthropy that I admit I enjoy.  If I can only get over THAT, and not be so judgmental and more forgiving, I think I will have reached some level of enlightenment where I can be happier and more focused. But until then, put down your effing cell...

A new year. A new start. A fresh attitude. Over the years, I've realized that it wasn't just me - a lot of people take that "clean slate - start anew" strategy.  I always thought I was the only one that had to "start over", as if everything up to then was a total failure. Well, here we go - a new year. Can I keep up the resolutions  - to distance myself from negativity? to get in great shape and feel good? to finally be able to play guitar better? Speaking of which - although I don't put as much time into it as I should, I am getting better at guitar. I hope to finally excel at it this year. And, in just days - graduate school starts.  Yikes. Say goodbye to a good night's sleep for the next 3 years, I guess. My escape is, and always will be...music.  Read on, if you dare.... The very beautiful song by this band called Echo and Drake sits at the top. It's a strange thing when you love a song by a band that you know nothing about.  These...

What a year. It's almost over. I don't know what to ponder, or how to label 2012.  It was overall good, I guess. I found full-time work in my career field (sort of, but it will do). I completed a graduate level course and got an A- (whew...it took A LOT of work).  I got word that I was accepted into grad school for 2013. And, so far, I still have my good health, my safety, my sight (even though it's getting worse!).... I am used to being alone, though.  I haven't been intimate with someone in about 2 years now!  I haven't kissed anyone passionately in that time, too. It would be nice to find that special someone, but oh well. There isn't much change in this month's Top 5.  What's notable is another entry from Blondie. "Sleeping Giant" is a song that didn't make the cut for their recent "Panic of Girls" album. WHY!?! "Panic" is the best of their last three albums (the post-reunion era), and it is actually decent, co...

Home stretch for 2012...November already. Wow. I love the autumn, but I pretend in November...I pretend that I forget this is the month of my birthday. I don't really acknowledge it, nor do I like anyone else to make the slightest deal about it.  I think about it for a second or two, then put it out of my mind. This is because of the constant frustration I experience, year after year. It is my own fault, but I am just not happy - or, if I am, it's not for long. I am just an unhappy person. And lonely. Tim Hecker's instrumental is #1 again - just unchallenged, since I find a lot of entertainment in atmospheric music lately. There are two new entries - songs that are months old, that I have been enjoying, but finally boiled over into the Top 5. I like this month's top 5 - it would make a good mini-playlist on an I-pod. NOVEMBER 2012 1. "In the Fog, Part I/II/III", by Tim Hecker 1, 1, 6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytQLA77X6Qw 2. "Irresistabl...

I haven't really been able to enjoy music much lately, and therefore again this month there is little change to the Top 5.  A new entry is "Irresistable Force", by Jane's Addiction - a song that probably should have broken the chart last month.  My mind is just not on music a lot lately. That is my treasure, my escape, my solace - enjoyment of music.  I will get back into it soon enough, I hope! OCTOBER 2012 1. "In the Fog, Part I/II/III", by Tim Hecker 1, 1, 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytQLA77X6Qw 2.  "End to the Lies", by Jane's Addiction 2, 1, 7 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIFcc0OzMHQ 3.  "Le Bleu", by Blondie 3, 2, 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX82nEHV75o 4. "Irresistable Force", by Jane's Addiction -, 4, 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVOi5Hdbd7Q 5. "The Sound of Winter", by Bush 5, 1, 9 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi06TWlKeHc OCTOBER 2011 1. "D-Day", by Bl...

I'm very late this month.  I have been very busy trying to hustle acting gigs, and getting music together, as well as tending to family engagements (Labor Day, birthday parties, weddings, etc., etc., etc.). I don't have much to say, except I think my life is meant to be sabotaged by people's misery.  I always find myself dragged down into the pits of despair of those I love. I see it as doing my duty out of love and loyalty.   Here's the thing - none of them ever support my in my endeavors to enrich my life, enjoy my life, try different things, and so forth - all to try to make contentment if not happiness IN this life.  Hardly one word of encouragement....just blank stares...as if they might be thinking "oh look at you, mr. show off", or "im glad you are happy and it's too bad i cant be happy, too", or "wait - you try things outside your comfort zone of depression and isolation...i dont even know you anymore!!!" I listen to the glo...