JANUARY 2011
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!....I guess. I thought about 10 months ago things were looking up. Nothing has changed since, well, I was a kid. My life is lonely, full of ambition but without execution, full of fear and anxiety... It's not a totally horrible existence, but just frustrating because my mind reaches for things - the arts, love, excitement, contentness, but all those always seem beyond my reach, and it could be my own doing. Or rather, my own limitations (from said fear, anxiety, etc.). I'm tired. Just mentally tired. I know, I know, there are people in the world who suffer REAL fear - for their lives, on a daily basis. They don't have potable water, sufficient food, etc. I do feel for people in that situation. NONE of those luxuries do I ever take for granted. I always thank God for those. But I will always feel incomplete. DAMN! I just checked what I wrote a year ago, in January of 2010 - pretty much the same. I should spare my massive audience any more of my mala